Bedroom wisdom for the first year of your marriage and beyond
When former Bridal Guide staffer Elena Mauer told us she’d coauthored a book with Joselin Linder called Having Sex Like You Just Met, we said, "Send it right over!" Elena, who is married and the mother of baby Ryan -- you see, there is life after the wedding! -- has great advice for all you about-to-be-marrieds. We’ve adapted a few of her hot tips.
Exclusively yours. Think of the two of you as members of a private sex club that meets in your bedroom every night. Club Sexy has its own set of rules to help keep it in good working order. The idea is to build a sense of mutual trust that allows the two of you to become closer sexually and sensually.
Make your bedroom an electronics-free oasis. The idea is to create a space without distractions, so start by unplugging the TV; in fact, get rid of it altogether. If this is a problem, keep a red scarf or tapestry on hand to throw over it for a few hours. Here’s another idea: Make Thursday night sexy-movie night. There’s plenty of cinematic eye candy to enrich your mind and embolden your bod. Computers, cell phones, pagers, PlayStations -- all qualify as distractions from the business at hand. Leave them at the door -- and turned off -- before entering.
Edit, edit, edit. We advise getting rid of anything that makes your bedroom unsexy. Take a look around. What do you see? A photo of Grandma Tilly at last summer’s family picnic? A shot of your darling nieces in pink tutus? Dad at your brother’s wedding? Off they go to the living room or the offi ce. You’ll be amazed by how different things feel once your relatives aren’t watching.
Make the decor sexy. No, we’re not saying that you need silk sheets, a black velvet canopy, a vibrating bed, a stripper pole or a mirror ceiling (not that any of these would hurt). But how about these ideas? Use a bedside lamp with a soft glow instead of harsh overhead lighting. Consider scented candles, as long as you both enjoy the fragrance. A color scheme sends a message; you may like rich reds and golds, or you may prefer a clean, uncluttered space -- but please, no stuffed animals!
Books are OK, but not textbooks or biographies of anyone who died of an overdose -- unless they happened to be mid-orgy at the time. If you are a reader-to-sleep, try making it a rule not to pick up your personal reading until you and your sweetie have read a few pages out of a book you agree upon. Reading out loud to each other can be incredibly bonding and, depending on your choice, incredibly hot.
Keep your bedroom as your bedroom. Don’t allow it to become a meeting place or hang-out for friends. And don’t eat in there, either -- you’ll get crumbs in the sheets. Last but not least, never pay bills in the bedroom -- what could be less sexy than a bank statement?
From Have Sex Like You Just Met. Copyright © 2010 by Joselin Linder and Elena Donovan Mauer. By permission of Adams Media, an F+W Media, Inc. Co. All rights reserved.
